Parting

Before I know it, I realise how much the lyrics of one of my favourite songs resonates with the sense of embracing the unknown that must overcome us, in order to move on from relationships in our lives which have run their course. Lyrics which speak to us about letting go, are a poignant reminder that if we have a relationship with ourselves, letting go is only made all the more easier. A process which must be tolerated even in its infant stages.

Whether you are ending a friendship, parting with a long-time lover or a tinder potential no more, there is always some kind of hardship in the embodiment of letting go. Pop culture's emphasis on fighting to the bitter end or dragging out emotional entanglements until our knickers are beyond knotted, seems to me like a really good way of trespassing on the logical side of our brains that says "give it up!" (Thank you, Tim and Jean, however short lived you were.)

It is of course no easy feat, when giving up is associated with the personal failure of "giving up", associated with defeat, an unwillingness to show integrity in what was. And in the middle of anguish, we are unlikely to compose ourselves with the grace and kindness toward the other person, as is expressed in lyrics. Throwing our heartbreak out into the world or bearing it in the quiet corner

Taylor Swift sings that "Heartbreak is the national anthem" and in a world where media plays out its own soap operas across all platforms, it's no wonder lingering love-lessness looks like the norm.

It is not always our choice nor immediate response to let go of something that was important to us, for however long or brief a time. Instead, our commitment to something destructive is hard to shake. And it seems unintelligible to let go.

How little do we realise that commitment is best reserved for promising to let go when it no longer feels right to keep moving in the same direction that we were before. In a direction which was causing us pain, anguish or distress.

Sometimes this means standing up for ourselves: "I am looking for someone reliable, accountable and courageous enough to talk when things need to be clarified". "I am looking for a position that best utilises my skillset." "I do not have the time to look after x" "I think we are moving in different directions and I cannot join you down your path anymore"

Sometimes it is as simple as stopping in your tracks; accepting no less than what you stand for.

Whatever your tonic, I promise you this: It will not be easy, but it will be freeing.

#lettinggo #pain