Blank

Sometimes starting from square one is a really good idea. Societal norms around success, fulfillment and freedom are grounded in the idea of reinventing ourselves and shaking off the past.

In the era of technological colonialism and social media, blank spaces are annexed by carefully curated depictions of ourselves which allow us to shape how the world sees us.

Companies are built on a blank page and a whim. Celebrities or armchair celebs reinvent themselves by launching a new product or creating a whole new life. Take the multimillion dollar Kardashian brand or the identity gained, (via lost weight) when Biggest Loser contestants shed the kilos. Even the Bachelor is a great example of rebranding in a world where completion depends on another person.

However, what if we can't shake off our old selves and expose a more centered and reinvigorated self?

What if, in our quest to change our lives, we try and try and try, until we get to a point where what we are left with is a strained identity, and after some time of losing ourselves, yet another blank page on which to re-write our goals and ambitions? It is as if our letters to Santa were never even read!

Everywhere you look, casting off an old identity is sold to us like a weight loss package. Drink the cool aid for 21 days, or is it 29 days? ...3 months or 10,000 hours, and you'll be changed. Climb that mountain every morning and you will be that successful all rounder.

Alas, it is not always so. Instead, the blank page takes on its own plans, to paper mache itself with glue and water into a disfigured shape that resembles nothing like we envisaged. Then, it is handed back to us as a gift to ourselves: as a symbol of our trying. Frankly, I don't know what your paper mache looks like, but mine looks like a North Korean missile, glued together with fury and fire for extra effect.

The challenge really starts when we fail to come unstuck. When we fail to acknowledge the failed pièce de résistance we envisaged our lives to be as something worth appreciation and respect for the grit, tenacity and mess endured. When we fail to embrace renewal.

So, how do we start again? How do we pick up another blank page after years of striving and hundreds of job applications, or thousands of hours of toiling away at a career or accepting scraps of someone else's love? How to we allow ourselves to see potential in starting again, rather than fear of falling harder and deeper into the unknown?

These are the questions that plague us. That impel us to take our paper mache life and smash it into the ground when things are tough and seemingly resistant to untangling. I don't have the answers, but I do have the questions.

How can we make the next piece of paper meaningful in a way that our reinvention is a story that we do want to tell? A story that does lead to outcomes that allow us to create the person that we really hoped we would be. A story that leads to fulfillment, beyond the pages of social media and tweet feeds and brimming checkbooks..Only time will tell.